A blog for her friends to check that she's still alive, when she's been missing for a while, and what she's whinging about now.

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Monday, April 05, 2004

Bit pathetic at up-dating this, aren't I?

Things have improved considerably healthwise. It's not that I'm without pain now, but it's tolerable. Right now, it does hurt worse than normal, but I've been pouring over genealogy files, trying to find some info for a dude researching his Green family in Gornal. I've discovered that prolonged looking down does hurt more than anything else, so I'll just have to look up! LOL

Round about last Wednesday, things got better. I was at Kate's (where I'd been since Saturday), and I found that I not only had more mobility, but I could go for a whole hour without wincing. That's a lot. :-D

I returned to work on Thursday, but around half 11, my neck clicked and hurt like fuck. I was so close to tears, not with the pain, but more the disappointment. More than anything, I just want this over with, so I can get on with life. I was outside having a fag at the time, but I'd just had 2 hours of working from paper on a desk, and therefore looking down.

When it clicked, I thought I was going to faint. I just slid down the pillar outside work, and sat on the concrete. I sent out a sigil to a group of friends (witches all) begging for help, then remembered that most of them would have been asleep (time-zones and all), so I focussed on Georgia. The more I thought Georgia, help me, the more it calmed; then suddenly it was as if calm just washed over me. It didn't hurt any the less, but I was emotionally able to cope. I got up off the floor and went inside.

Thursday night was the Annual Glastonbury Ticket Buying panic. By one am, Kate, Bob, Ian, Katy and I all had our tickets. I tried for a while to get one for one of Ian's friends off Space-Glasto, but in the end admitted defeat. It was utter madness that night, so many things simultaneously going on. E-mails, phone-calls, texts; as well as the web-site and 'phone line to buy tickets. Fortunately, dealing with it all helped me chip away at this 'big, bad world out there' mentality, that's a residue from the 3 weeks resting from it. It's still not completely gone away, but I've had a glimpse at what I was and will be again.

By Friday, I remembered to take pain killers to work. That was good. :-D I was alone in the office until about 2pm, which was cool, because it helped me quietly get my bearings there. Plus I've finally sat down at my desk for the first time since I started on March 8th.

The weekend so far has been full of me catching up on internet stuff. I've done millions of up-dates for the Witchgrove web-site, including a search engine. That's on the Quick links page, and it took me 3-4 hours to do. I had to key in words which I thought folk might search for, coupled with the pages that related to them. I was well glad when that one was over!

I also got to cant for a while with Mike, who's one of the dearest, sweetest souls on this earth, but hasn't found out that yet. He's gone through Hell and continues to go through it. I think I wear the face of the Crone goddess for him, particularly this past fortnight, but I'm happy to do it for him. He, Bella and Shonna all called me 'the goddess' tonight, in separate contexts. I must be doing something right! LOL

Today (Sunday), Mum and I went to see 'The Passion of the Christ', which I've reviewed for Witchgrove here. I'm still a bit in shock from it. Some scenes really turned my stomach - this from a wench who once sewed someone up with a needle and thread, because they refused to go to casualty and get stitches properly.

Anyway, that's me up-to-date.

yours
Mab
xxxxx
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