Mab of Dream

Yippee! Personnel have signed my form, which duplicated the one as Registry lost. This means that I won't have to pay for my MA after all. *happy dances* Now I've just got to get the form back to Registry, but I'll photocopy it this time.

It's the weirdest feelings elsewhere. I'm typing up 'Priestess' for the Witchgrove gang (particularly Cailet and Carrie, but others appear to be reading it now as well). There's a lot there that reminds me how far I've come. For a start off, the writing style is so amateurish, that I'm cringing every two seconds in typing it up. The very worst, I'm rewriting, but I don't want to rewrite too much, as it will lose the emotion of it. I haven't got the emotions now to match it, therefore I restrict myself to cutting out the odd line of complete whinging, or moving words around so it scans better. But I'm deliberately trying not to pay too much attention, else I'll die of embarrassment and not get it sent in.

It's being discussed on Witchgrove though, and part of me is sitting there absolutely gobsmacked by that. ONE OF MY 'FICTION' BOOKS IS BEING DISCUSSED! :-o :-o Ok, it's not quite fiction... in fact, I've been quite shocked at just how much was put in which I can remember word for word that that's how it happened. I've done some giggling in the typing, remembering just how immature we were back then, but really believing that we knew what we were doing. I've got Eric down so well! LOL I think everyone as knows him would get which one he is.

In between the giggling though, I have done some looking back and realized just how much has gone *poof* and vanished, as used to be so important. Every road used to lead back to 'Elizabeth', but now I can't imagine even saying 'hello' to her, let alone having a conversation. I actually heard tell of her last week. She's got another baby. Also I've seen how much I've changed. Some of the conversations as I used to be in... LOL Try them now, cariad, and see how far they get you. Mind you, I'm not the sort to even sit and hear them now, I'd just walk if I heard one start up.

There is much that is quite significant though, which makes me wonder if the Goddess didn't send Cailet to get me to talk. I won't talk about that bloody condition, and I wouldn't even put myself in the position where it was possible that I might have to. But I couldn't leave chapter 5 out, could I? So there it is. I warned Shonna last night that I could wake up this morning hating myself for having dropped that defense, but I haven't. I know that half the Grove would have my back on this one, even if I should crack. The ultimate irony is that they all know I'm Mara now, so being Officially Difficult would be even easier than normal.

It's with the Goddess. If I'm asked on, I'll answer and perhaps I'll tell it all. If I'm not, then I won't and life will go on. The Lady knows that I've resolved to be as honest as I can with all but the real names of those in the story.

It feels Narcissistic having it all in there. But if it helps those new to the Path, or those who've been through similiar, then job's a good 'un. Shonna called me brave last night and though I didn't mention it at the time, later on, as I was going abed, it came back to me and I thought, 'Yes, I have been.'

Oh well, back to work.

yours
Mab
xxxxx