A blog for her friends to check that she's still alive, when she's been missing for a while, and what she's whinging about now.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004

"It forms when darkness
Is increased by one..."

I don't remember my dream last night, but I know that I had 'Chapter 24' playing on the internal jukebox when I awoke.

I'm chilling out. Yesterday, I had my Mum canting with me about my stress levels and trying to get me to go with her to Tai Chai. She wouldn't let me leave the house without eating something, so I had a crumpet with cheese on it and took 3 pizzas with me to FT Kate's.

Kate's was like Piccadilly Circus, with folk popping in, staying for a cuppa, going, then we'd start to talk and someone else would turn up. But in the finish, we got there, me basically going on about all the things I've canted about in previous blogs, plus some. I can tell by the way she is with me that she's on Keep Johnny Calm mode. She played an entire Syd album for a start.

She had some good advice though. She's not Pagan, but has known me long enough to blag it quite well. Actually, she says she's not Pagan, but she's more Pagan than half the Pagans I know. LOL It's cool though, because she can cut through all of the bullshit and relate things back to things in the past; she knows what language to cant with me in. By the finish, I was feeling a lot calmer about things.

Then Eric turned up. :-D After that, things lightened considerably as they allowed Matilda Mother to come out to play. For most of the night, we stayed in, with goodies, whiskey, hot chocolate etc., singing, dancing to music, generally playing nicely. We did go out for the sunset though. I suggested we go up Sedgley Beacon and, when I sussed that you can see Shropshire from up there, I mused on taking some whiskey up there to toast WM Mike. I'd just got to the 'just nipping to the car to get a plastic bottle' stage, when Kate produced a birthday present for me.

"I know it's early, but I really think you should open this now."

So I did. It's a hip-flask and she's engraved it with: I Promise To Go Wandering. I just stared at it in shock! How perfect is that for me?! And just when it was needful.

But moreover, that quote invokes a whole place and time in my life. When I first decided to creep out from behind everyone else's shadow and stand on my own two feet. It was Glastonbury 2002 and me unafraid to wander off on my own, having adventures. I remember it as idyllic, floating in a haze of potentiality and spirituality, no real responsibilities, just being what I can be. Therefore, that engraving is also timely - it reminded me that I promised to go wandering... on so many different levels. I did that ok! LOL

Sedgley Beacon was gorgeous. From up there you can see most of the Black Country on three sides, lights twinkling all over like thousands of campfires across the hills. On the fourth side is Shropshire - the Wrekin, the Long Mynd, the Stipperstones. On a clear day, I could swear I can make out Caer Caradoc and the Stretton Hills. Kate, Eric and I sat on chairs, drinking whiskey from my hip-flask (except Kate, who after the first sip decided she hates and detests whiskey). In four different locations, on the Black Country side, folk were letting off fireworks. We watched them across the miles. Beautiful, beautiful sight. The more sparsely populated Shropshire drew murky after dark, while the Black Country shone. I drank to WM Mike, then turned and viewed my roots. This Black Country where I will never be anything more than myself.

We came down and back to Kate's, where we sang and danced some more. I am content.


Wow this was a great blog. :-) I'm glad Kate is there for you and that you, Kate and Eric got to go play. It sounds like such a lovely time.

The flask was a wonderful idea. I agree with the engraving too. ;-)
YAY! I'm so glad you got some time to be YOU and danced and sang. Welcome back!

Johnny my dear friend - first of all happy birthday - your present is going to be in the mail soon - I'm afraid I've been a bit caught up of late, you'll know why more than most - but you ARE in my thoughts today and I love you dearly, my friend and sister - I'll raise a glass to YOU and dance a dance that's meant to celebrate my dear friend who doesn't think enough of herself......but should because she's got a heart bigger than the country she lives in and mine put together. *hug*
so gald you had a good relaxing time, aud
Mab, hon, all I can say is "Wow!" I got all tingly and kinda teary as I read this. Especially as I read about you, Kate and Eric sitting, watching the fireworks, and all. This line: "This Black Country where I will never be anything more than myself." It resonated, somehow, in me. It's the kind of place I've been looking for. The place where I will never be anything more than myself. Love ya lots.

Thank you all, ladies. It never ceases to amaze me the calibre of people I have holding safety nets for me!


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