Mab of Dream

FtE isn't very subtle, but the other three are. I've been asked indirectly, which is the only way to ask me in days like these, so:

**Part one

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun**

I'm struggling to see it, truth be told. But after three, maybe four, proddings with this song, I'm now looking to see if it's so. I just went out for a fag and passed a table with a pile of public lecture leaflets on it. In a previous job incarnation, I produced those and organized the whole thing. The quote on the front is one I found 'Reserve your right to think, because even to think wrongly is better than not thinking at all.'

I'm vaguely aware that I must have pulled off greatness in some form in the past, but in truth, I can't think of any specific examples. Maybe the Vicarage.

**Shine on you crazy diamond
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky**

The thousand yard stare already?

**Shine on you crazy diamond
You were caught on the cross fire of childhood and stardom**

This line always used to pertain to Syd in my head, with a vague Vicarage reference if I was going to crowbar it onto my life. Now I get it. 'kin Hell, do I get it. I don't know how to word the SOSs or what questions to ask.

**blown on the steel breeze**

This I'm familiar with and it's ok.

**Come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger
you legend, you martyr, and shine!**

*head down, blush and secret smile of wondering*

**You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon**

As Eric never tired of telling me. But the moon heard me crying and scooped me up in a Mother's hold. We've already covered this breakdown.

**Shine on you crazy diamond
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light**

*nods*

**Shine on you crazy diamond
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision**

Not quite, I don't think. Not completely, but the processes are there. There are some who won't ever let go, however psychedelic it gets.

**rode on the steel breeze**

Surfing it!

**Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter
you piper, you prisoner, and shine!**

Raver or raven? ;-) I'm doing my best.

**part two

Nobody knows where you are, how near or how far**

In truth, neither do I. I recognize this place I'm in. I've been overwrought in the past and I've been angry, upset and all the rest. This is a slightly different level and I recognize it from a certain time in my life. HOWEVER I can practically hear the safety devices moving into place - all those things which were set up at the time in the hope they'd never have to be used. Each time I fall, I snag on the last clampon or land in a safety net as I never even knew was there. Can we call this the Johnny's Sanity equivalent of an emergency drill? It all appears to be working.

I didn't intend to frighten anyone and I didn't intend for this to happen. Now it has, so it's a case of noting down where the boundaries are and seeing what happens next.

The 'nobody' includes me, I've just got more clues to guess with.

Shine on you crazy diamond
Pile on many more layers and I'll be joining you there

Which is what I'm afraid of and also why I'm desperately scrambling to sort my shit out in order to be there to catch you.

Shine on you crazy diamond
And we'll bask in the shadow of yesterday's triumph,
and sail on the steel breeze

You reckon? Ok.

Come on you boy child, you winner and loser
Come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!

Miner for truth and delusion. Always loved that.

yours
Mab
xxxxx