Mab of Dream

Cariad fi.....
say what needs to be said - feelings get sorted one way or the other - but your holding them in doesn't help anyone - especially yourself.....Dunno what to say about your computer, I remember that happening a lot last year - time for us to exorcise?
*slips a pillow under your noggin so it doesn't hurt when you bang in there*
hurt the computer, not yourself....but not too bad because you still need it!
XOXOXO
Shonna
 

Jo, I'm with Shonna on this. Say what needs to be said. Friends will stay with you and if what you say drives them away they weren't friends. That goes for anyone, including myself. :-)

Love
G
 

Third-ed. Just be honest and say what needs to be said. Don't bottle it up, it isn't healthy and leads to badness.
People tell me there is such thing as being subtle, but I haven't found out how to do that yet, so I just suggest going with honest.
Bex
PS - my old computer won't turn on, but once you get it on is stays there. Maybe we should meld them into one, might work then
 

Okay have posted this once and the pc ate it, so trying again, sorry if it ends up being posted twice.
I third Shonna and Georgia's sentiments. Be honest. Friends can deal. Keeping it inside is bad for your health and leads to badness all round. People keep telling me there is a way to be subtle, but I haven't mastered it yet so I just suggest honesty. (and like someone smart once said being subtle is just not saying true stuff) - and for my part, if I'm being a bitch or a crazy person or seriously annoying someone, I'd rather they told me so I stop doing it.
Bex
 

I'm with everyone else on this, true friends will take it on board, and sort it or at least agree to disagree, but do not bottle it up, it does no good in the end, I know I have done it.

Aud
 

Thank you all, ladies.

The world does look slightly calmer after 14 hours sleep!

This time, I was venting about 'Priestess' and the questions which never came. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, because I don't think that folk realized what a big deal this was to me. I think it's one of those six of one and half a dozen of the other moments. I should not have picked the scab in the first place, because there is a decade's worth of pus built up behind it; I should also have not tried to paper over it again; and I should have mentioned that it's done my head in way, way before now.

I'm also not entirely rational on this issue. I know that.

The truth is that I set it up, with a reasonable expectation that I'd be caught on the fall, but I wasn't. Not one person cared enough to send questions to Anna about it, though it was quite clear that they were to help me fight a few demons. The circumstances are different, but the fact that I'm on my own fighting this one is the same as 1994.

It's hard to be philosophical about it. Why should I walk through Hell to rescue someone else on the edge, when that person is one of those who had the opportunity to save me, but couldn't be arsed? I've learned now that most folk are those who will send a card on your birthday saying, 'I think you're great and I'm always there for you', but won't be and will then be tantrumming away, feeling betrayed, if I learn from that not to be there for them too.

Bitter? You bet I am. But I also know that that's not the person that I want to be. It's a defensive thing. I want to be the person that I'd grown to be before this whole episode - someone who'd catch anyone close to the edge of the cliff, regardless of whether they'd catch me.

Most people won't climb into the abyss after someone else, they would rather deal with the smaller crisises -handing out plasters rather than surgically dealing with the wound. This, I think, is what the ghost of myself was trying to tell me.

A sizeable proportion of my current thinking isn't ascension, it's regression, as it all boils around the same questions as in the aftermath of 1994 - ie the time in which 'Priestess' is based. My smile gets more and more sardonic whenever someone slags off Lainie, when in many ways they are the Lainie of 2004. In response to these same questions then, I wrote 'Priestess'. The questions:

Am I setting impossible structures by which I judge someone else?

Am I setting the standards too high, too foolish, too destructively?

Are people really so shallow? Or is it that the clues were too subtle? Lip-service abounds, but who's prepared to be inconvenienced to help me, when the chips are down? Was it short-sightedness or folk really sitting there thinking, let's bring her down a peg or two?

If it's the latter, it worked. I'm angry, I'm bitter, I feel betrayed by members of both the Grove and the Moot and I am wishing I'd listened to those who were around the first time around, when they said, 'Do you think this is wise?'

The thing is, how do I answer these things in my own head in order to settle it? I've been through this before and I know the answers from then. I will get over it eventually, it's just hard to muster compassion for those whom I now deem to have none.

yours
Mab
xxxxx
 

Cariad fi - This too shall pass - I wonder if it's not that the clues were too subtle but that they were subtle and then lost in the onrush of drama floating about - of course you know I hate that you feel betrayed at all much less by WG - it's not a hurt feeling here, it's more a "OMG what'd I miss?" thing.....largely because I've been so caught up in the baby drama and pregnancy drama too that it's been hard to see the important stuff.....just know you mean the world to me - we'll sort this. No way in hell am I leaving you to deal wiht this on your own - though it seems at least a part of it you're meant to deal with on your own - at least this time you know you've got support - I still think it's 1994 all over again but that this time it's for you to show you can sort it - it's like how you learn lessons and have to prove you've learned the lessons....the hard way - at any rate, we'll sort this. Hell, look at everything else we've sorted together....don't you dare think that I'll leave you to do this on your own too.....
*hug*
garu ti, cariad fi
XOXOXO
Shonna
 

I wondered when you was going to crack. its been like watching a disaster waiting 2 happen watching you been this robot mab instead of the jo we all know and love.

shine on you crazy diamond

Matt
x
 

Mab,
Just wanted to let you know that it was beyond brave putting Priestess out there. It did touch me deeply and bought up a thousand thoughts and questions, but although I knew you'd offered to answer questions online, I just wasn't sure that me asking the questions would help any, or whether it would make things worse. So I kept quiet. I am truly sorry.
Bex