Mab of Dream

I seem to be in a tidying mood, just quietly getting on with it in the background. My inbox is nearly empty, though there were four or five in there when I went abed last night; I'm up-to-date on Kindly Ones, but Witchgrove (usually my first stop), though read, has a couple of dozen e-mails left that I wanted to respond to. I start to respond, then stop.

It's not that I have nothing to say, it's just that the urgency all seems gone. I think that mentally I've already handed over my role in the Grove to the others, though always in the knowledge that it's ultimately my role. Something happens and I'll be back there faster than a whippet with an eye on a rabbit.

Urgency over everything seems gone. I could never have applied the word 'apathetic' to me before now. But I appear to be heading towards it. It's no longer a case of remembering to let things go, it's a case of remembering to pick them up again. Aud's been waiting for me to write a poem for over a week for a card she's doing. I need to have that done by 5 at the latest today. I still haven't called Laura and she was in big trouble last time I looked.

People need to go out of their way to grab my attention of late. I don't mean because I'm so busy I'll miss them, but because I just feel so lanquid. It's not even comfortably numb. I'm not sure what it is! Whereas before I would read in between lines or react to the energies in e-mails as much as I would the content, it's like I'm only looking at the content these days. Naturally, this could be something to do with the fact I've pressed 'mute' on the inner mixing board and I've had the Tower of Light up for a couple of weeks. I'm not afretting at all.

Instead it's really quiet in my world right now. I spent hours last night and the night before going through my computer, deleting all files and resizing photographs. Some of them I've uploaded into the Yahoo photo album (here). All told, I've freed up 2 GBs of memory and my computer is running a lot faster now. It used to take nearly two mins to even view the html on a web-page and uploading an amended web-page could take up to five minutes. I was never any good at waiting on things like that.

I really should e-mail Jami to see if it's safe to post this book to her as well...

The old toast: 'To the past, the present and the seasons in the mist'. I always said that with the latter being the future. It actually feels like now. It feels a bit like the back end of 1994, in truth, when it was a case of close in, be looked after, find out what you are. That, but with more awareness.

Oh and my cold came back. I can't have either Caroline nor FT Kate over that, because I gave them the cold in the first place.

yours
Mab
xxxxx