Mab of Dream

5.10.04 (in my journal)

Time is so very relative. I've been asked to believe in three different times simultaneously today, as I left Britain, flew back in time to Newark, then back again to Vegas time. I tell myself it's all a matter of perspective and that seems to be working so far. I tell myself it's one in the afternoon, despite the fact that I've raced to beat a 4pm deadline only minutes before. Yes, it was 4pm despite travelling 7 hours since noon. Maths was never my strong point.

It helps if you don't have a watch yourself. You'll believe whatever you're told that way.

I'm writing this at something daft like 37000 feet up in the air. The pilot just said that we'll be flying over the Rockies in about 40 minutes, which should sort the turbulance out. I'm listening to REM's 'Around the Sun' album and feeling very bouncy and awake.

Today has probably been very long. I woke up on the 4th at quarter past 7am, then went to bed at half 2/3am this morning (British time). Woke up again at half 6 and flew out of Birmingham Airport at 12 noon.

Kate was brilliant. I was so scared and trying not to show it; but as we approached the airport, she put 'Walk Unafraid' on and I SANG it. Sang and meant it. I felt myself rise a level and I wasn't scared anymoe.

It doesn't feel right doing this without Kate. I'm filling up as I write. Kate should be here too. As she put me in the Departures gate, we hugged and it felt like a forever goodbye. As we pulled away, her eyes were filled and I tried not to cry too. Failed once out of sight.

It takes guts to let go at the Departure gate, when you know that the dude you're letting go is afraid. But some journeys you can't take with them, whoever you are. I know Mum's scared too; she's had as many nightmares about this journey as I have.

But it's not been so bad. Newark was madness. I did a lot of running along corridors there; I wish someone had seen the case incident though. I ran in and just saw a flash of Y Ddraig Goch, just about to disappear. I ran the length and whipped it off, another second more and it would have been gone. I ran onto the Vegas plane with 10 mins to spare (40 mins after I should have boarded), and couldn't speak for panting and gasping for breath.

That was 4pm. I'll be in Vegas soon. It's be 5 and a half hours later, but will only be half 6. There's cool! :-)

All I'm thinking now is FUCK! In a couple of hours I'll be meeting Stephane and then Shonna! :-o Please Lady, don't let me do anything stupid; don't let me forget how to speak; and definitely don't let me babble incoherently, like I did with Georgia.

Let me Walk Unafraid instead.