Mab of Dream

Something I'd like to slip in here is a huge grateful thank you to those who helped me get to Vegas in the first place, or showed such kindness along the way.

Stephane, of course, stands head and shoulders above as the person who got me there. I don't know how to say thank you to him, because it's too big to really express it. I was planning a whole waffle of a thank you e-mail over the weekend and today, but finally resorted to one simply saying, 'Thank you.' That I got to be THERE at THAT moment in time with THOSE people... Filling up.

Then, in no particular order:

Osran, who, when she found out at the eleventh hour, harked back to my panicking about money blog and read between the lines that it was my Vegas spending money that I couldn't afford and offered to help me out. It wasn't, as that money was already dollars and untouchable, it was everything else. It was my usual tri-monthly panic, which would have happened anyway and is usually a result of me being crap at maths and not as bad as it seems. I was able to thank Osran and tell her that it was covered, but the gesture of that beautiful woman... Love you, a'er wench.

But if I'm talking of my Grove sisters, there were two separate-but-related-moments which had me in tears, because I realized just how much I was worth to folk:

First there was Pixie, who said that if I could afford the much cheaper fare to Denver, she would pick me up and drive me the rest of the way. Stunned and touched, yes. Most definitely yes. Pixie is another beautiful woman who has come through so many times. The Sunday night, I did myself a reading, which was all looking very beautiful if a little heavy on major arcana. The ultimate future was the ten of cups, which was great. :-D However, I pushed my luck and did a week-long day-by-day reading only to discover that I was going to die on Tuesday. I 'phoned Pixie and without blinking (by the sound of her voice), she calmly picked up her own cards and double checked with a Goddess thingie and informed me that Tuesday was going to be a day where my friends catch me and the Goddess of Flowers is looking after me. Panic over. That's just indicative of Pixie. She's so calm and down to earth, nothing fazes her at all and she's got a heart of pure gold. Love you too, Pixie fach.

Secondly, there was a massive gang of Grovers who all, under the organization/suggestion of the Heart of the Grove, Bella, clubbed together to pay for me to go to Vegas. I read that and sobbed my heart out. I just said, 'Oh My God!' for about ten minutes over and over again. I had to decline, because I was already going, but it was all still a secret. My e-mail didn't tell a single lie, but mislead greatly and I felt so evil for that, particularly seeing as I trusted them all to keep it a secret. Thinking back to receiving that e-mail still pauses me. I still get that shiver of 'Oh My God' and the feeling of being so special. If my arms were big enough, I'd hug you all and carry on hugging you until we all dropped down dead of over-hugging (which can be fatal if you can't eat or drink through the use of your arms in the hugging... possibly). I'm all shivery writing this. The gift you lot gave me was far greater than money or kindness, the memory of that e-mail has given me ammunition against the worst of my paranoia, during some dark months. 'kin Hell, I love you all so much. You know who you are.

This brings us to Bella, who found out right at the end too and was full of advice on what needed packing etc. I knew I was going to see 'O' at the Bellagio and had nearly had a heart-attack when I'd looked on the web-site and realized how big it was. I'd originally thought Stephane was in a small band, then had up-graded to a show like at the Grand Theatre in Wolverhampton. I'd finally landed at it being more like a West End show... nothing on earth prepared me for what Stephane REALLY does. There was me in E-bay trying to find a ballgown, when Bella stepped in with reassurances that it didn't need to be that posh. She's another, like Osran, who offered help and assistance and sent daily e-mails calming me down. She and Stephane between them got me packed and sorted on what was needful.

Then there's Scott, who calmed me during the massive panic attack of the early hours of the morning, when the Grove went up. He talked a lot of sense into me and made me see that I wasn't Judas Iscariot with dreadlocks, whatever I might be thinking.

But the calming down crowns truly belong to FT Kate and Aud. Both of them face-to-face dealing with each panic as it happened, or scutting over here or inviting me over there, just to chill me out for an evening and explain very patiently that the world won't end, even if Roxanne doesn't know she'll be the only Mod on Witchgrove during a bit of turbulance; even if my nail varnish is bobbling; even if there's flaming on Kindly Ones; even if... etc etc etc You'd be amazed at what I found to panic about pre-Vegas. Both of these woman mean so much to me, there aren't the words. Ok, blarting now.

And my parents, who gave me so many dollars and checked and double-checked every detail and ensured I had it memorized. Particularly my Mum, who bought me so many clothes that I had to sit on the suitcase to close it and then didn't wear them all.

Finally the kindness of strangers. Brian on the first plane, who explained things like I didn't have to pay for the cups of tea the flight attendants were bringing around and who bought me headphones when I was dozing and who ran with me, directed me and calmed me during the first Newark madness; the American couple who acted as my ears whilst waiting for the first plane; the New Jersey couple who acted as my ears while waiting for the third plane; the Continental Airline woman at Vegas and the flight attendant on the third plane, who knew how to look after someone half deaf; the lad on the third plane, who put me under his wing and got us both a flight back to Britain, when we'd been told elsewhere that there wasn't another for 24 hours; and the elderly lady at the 'phone kiosk, who showed me how to use a Sprint card to try and warn Kate about the delay; the flight attendant who kept sneaking me packets of baby carrots and pretzels, when he didn't have anything vegetarian to give me; the couple from Stourbridge, who lent me deodorant and gave me sweets on the final flight home.

Those are just the folk before and during the journeys, there was so much more actually in Vegas.

There's so much beauty, so much greatness, so much kindness in this world that I'm proud to be a part of it.

Thank you.

yours
Mab
xxxxx