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Thursday, November 04, 2004

Vegas October 9th 2004 (Morning)

It seemed like I'd only just fallen asleep when there's Shonna shaking me to wake up again. I rolled over thinking, sllllllleeeeeeeepppppp moooooooorrrrrreeeeee sllllllleeeeeeepppppp, when I remembered where I was, who I was with and who I'd been sleeping in the same room as all night and what the day was. I was up! I didn't have my costume, so I threw on my sarong and black vest top and scutted downstairs.

I think that this was one of only two or three days when I wasn't the first up, and what a sight to meet me! There's Shonna, Chelle and Georgia, with the kids running around (well, William was more lying there), and Stephane in the kitchen. Anna was in the bathroom. They all got to see how shite I am first thing in the morning, pre-drugs... I meandered out and had a cigarette, then meandered back in in search of caffeine. Then I woke up.

It was chaotic and fun. So much fun! I spent most of my time between the kitchen and the backyard, either having a quiet word with people about putting their energies into the parlour or a word about what was going to happen later with Shonna (as she didn't know about). There was a High Priestess pendant (yes THAT HPS pendant) being passed from person to person to be charged. I last saw it being shoved into Georgia's bra, until it eventually resurfaced later. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Mostly it was just such an amazing feeling being there. The excitement rising as more and more people turned up; the noise level rising accordingly. I could catch what the person next to me was saying, but very little else, but it was such a family atmosphere. I don't think I stopped grinning for the entire day, but it all started there. One huge family. I know that sounds cliched, but it really fits it.

Corey wrote in her blog:

'I felt like I'd been reading a really great book and suddenly had the character's come to life and step out of the pages. There's no other way to explain the sensation of knowing these women online, then having them poof out into the 3rd dimension. We are a community...

...I'm sort of choked up with gratefulness at having such an experience. I know I wasn't a major player, that everyone there has known each other much longer than I knew any of them...I was just happy to bask in the glow of it all.'


I got that too, in spades. I felt that I was a major player though, not in an arrogant sense, just that I was just as magical as some of the people walking into my vision. I didn't get that at first, just later, when it occurred to me again that I too was just as legendary as some of the people I was looking at as legends.

Imagine this, Grovers, you are standing there looking around a room and there's Me lipreading Shonna, while Barb and Kate look onAnna, there's Georgia, there's Shonna, and Pixie, and Chelle, and Bella, and Jodi, and Brianne, and Corey, and BoJo, and Brad, and so on and so on and so on... all those fantasies you've ever had of the Grove meeting up in one place and time, now happening (in part) before your eyes. I wanted to pinch myself. I could feel others so close too, as if they were just out of sight, in the back-garden or in the parlour. This was like living in the Grove or, as Pixie said, 'The only thing missing are the monitors in front of us.' Everyone EXACTLY as they are on-line.

The energy in that house that morning... it was like stepping out of a dream to find the reality so much better. And me, THERE! Me... there... even as I'm writing this in memory, my eyes are filling up and I don't know whether to let my jaw drop or just grin inanely. I felt so sorry for those not able to be there - I'd been glimpsing snatched looks at the Grove for a couple of days, and hearing reports by those able to keep up with it about folk who desperately wanted to be there. I thought of them all, as many names that I could conjure in my mind, and sent a big embrace filled with the energy of that moment, then carried on living it.

Daft moments grab you. Sitting here, I've just got an image of being part way up the stairs with Elen and meeting Shonna (in full Ren Faire custom) coming down. Me asking Shonna what Elen was wearing and Shonna saying not to afret on, as she was dealing once she'd sorted William. Then Elen going back down with Shonna. What was so great about that memory that it's stood out amongst a million amazing memories? I don't know. Perhaps it was just the sensation of truly being there, being a part of something as... momentous?... as this. Maybe it's something as simple as I carried on upstairs and had a rare moment of quiet, while on the loo or getting changed, to know that this was only the beginning.

Have I gushed enough? I don't think I could gush enough for that moment in time. But it's gushed enough for this blog. I was just so glad I was there. So thrilled, honoured... I've made my point!

Bella lent me a frock and I wore it for the rest of the day. It fit me perfectly, after Anna had laced up the back (Oh! There's another memory I can see, smell, taste, touch and hear! Standing there while I was laced up, thinking of who I was with and where I was and what and who were waiting...), and it was great to wear (and perfect for jigging in later. ;-) Though everyone saw my pants...). I'd not long got changed into it, with Bella and family's presense signalling the last of the great reunions and the final burst of energy in that house, when the Wiccaning began.

Shonna, Anna and Georgia all had roles within it, while the rest of us had lesser roles, but quite fundamental. In addition, Shonna asked me to round everyone up and in, so I think I was the last (or the pentultimate) person into the parlour itself. I remember the way the sun came through the open door, brightening that room up so beautifully. You can see it in some of the pictures, where it's caught the lighting, but there was the feel to it too, seeming really bright and airy despite the amount of people in there.

Georgia stood on the dias before the open door, smudging folk. Georgia the Priestess You know what it reminded me of, when I walked up in front of her? Don't laugh. You know the scene at the end of 'Star Wars', when Luke, Han, Chewbacca and the droids go and get their medals off Princess Leia and there's this little smile that happens, because they all know that they were in it together? Not the medals, but the little smile part of it, that's what it was like standing in front of Georgia. She smudged me all over and I was just so FULL! We gave each other those little smiles and she WAS the face of the Goddess and Georgia the priestess all together there. I felt cleansed and just wanted to burst. I turned and went to stand at the back, but Pixie had saved me half of her chair. We're neither of us that big, so one chair did the pair of us very well.

So there I was surrounded by all of these Grovers, their kin and folk who I might not know, but had the energy of Grovers too - the Nevada Pagan lot and Kurt from 'O'. We were arranged in rows, with folk at the side too, but it had the look of a gathering rather than pews in a congregation. There, in front of us, was Anna Goddess-mother, holding William in his kilt, with Elen, in her long, pink princess dress, beside her on the settee. Standing beside them was Shonna, in her Ren Faire outfit, looking as I will always now imagine a High Priestess to look. Yes, I'm gushing; no, I don't think it's hyperbolic. I'm sure my eyes were like saucers sitting there staring at this, feeling that moment.

Shonna seemed so confident. I know she'd mentioned nerves before, but there was no evidence of them, as if she'd been born to lead this ceremony. She was every inch the Mother Goddess, the High Priestess and Mother too. I was going to be holding the energies for her, to help out, but it really wasn't needful, so I was just one of the people there from that moment in.

Goddessmother, mother and children

Anna, on the settee, I don't think she realized how the light was coming down on her there. Half of the shining was coming from within, but the way the sunlight touched her hair and features was stunning to see. She too had her Ren Faire outfit on and looked entirely natural there, feeding William. I just got all proud and grinny seeing my friends up there, looking so magical, orchestrating so powerful an energy. We all had our part in that, just by being there and adding our own magic to the mix, but Georgia, Anna and Shonna were the Triple Goddess personified in my eyes at that moment in time, though I'd be hard pushed to say which was the Crone! Lol And without another three or four paragraphs of gushing, I'd never be able to convey just how honoured, humbled, filled and amazed I was to be there. Just take whatever you're imagining from that sentence and times it by 100.

I WAS THERE! *grin*

Ok. Shonna introduced the Wiccaning, explaining what it was all about, then went onto blessing the children and naming them. Elen was so well behaved and William smiled at her every time she touched his head with something, be it the water, wine or Chelle-prepared oil. Then Shonna turned to us, asking us to all add our blessings, be it in our heads or aloud.

The talking stick went around and such beautiful things were said from the heart, from those who knew the Pagan significance and those who didn't, it didn't matter. Those children were blessed and tokens handed over to Shonna. It came to me and I spoke the messages entrusted to me by those back home, then came to my own blessing. I'd been practicing it in my head, so naturally really fucked it up! LOL I got really, really nervous. I know... I know... I ended up sitting there thinking, 'That's Shonna, who's smiling at me; this is Pixie sitting right next to me, get a grip, Johnny!' But I garbled something out in the full knowledge that 90% of the people in that room KNOW how nervous I get in front of people, staring at Shonna instead of the kids (as I should have been) just to keep myself vaguely focused.

So... what I meant to say:

Inside these boxes I have enclosed a pentacle, that Elen and William may always be protected when it is most needful and that they may always know themselves as part of this world. I also enclose a Welsh pound apiece, that they may always remember their roots. I bless them with all the love I have inside me and all that I have to give; and my blessing is that they will each always know their respective names.


I think the mini panic attack was the sudden realization that I'd used the Welsh coin to signify their Welsh roots, vaguely thinking that their other roots would be covered elsewhere. I was doing the Welsh, because I am mostly Welsh and I'm British in any rate; but I hadn't thought though the wording, trusting that to the time. Even now it sounds like I'm placing their Welsh roots above the rest of the mix - the Mohawk, the French-Canadian etc.

Oh! Well! They'll have the jist now, even if it was indescipherable at the time! The name bit was the important bit any road.

The talking stick moved on and eventually reached Bella's youngest son, Aaron. The three boys before him had spoken their blessings in their heads, but Aaron did a speech which first had the goosebumps up, then had me so touched that I started crying. It was so beautiful! Bella and Brian, you should be so proud of your boys, but that moment with Aaron... oh! Kiss him for me now! It had been the standing joke that Bella would cry, I don't think any of us expected that we'd ALL be at it!

The stick went from Aaron to Shonna and then Elen reached for it. She's only four and this was her Wiccanning. Shonna let her have it. I think Shonna was so overwhelmed at that point that she didn't catch anything but the fact that Elen was addressing her gathering, but we all got it. She said, 'I want to thank everyone for coming here for me and for all the things you've said for me. Thank you.' Or words to that effect. I had them memorized at the time, but I'm writing this after a long, hard few weeks, and the words have gone. :-( It was the essense that was important and I was in bits harking her! Shonna and Stephane, just hug and kiss her off her Auntie Johnny. I'm still bloody crying! LOL

Ok. Decorum.

It was Anna's turn, as Goddessmother. I was so proud of that wench. She never stumbled on her words, they were stunning words too. She got a laugh telling the kids (not us, the kids...) that they could 'phone her for problems that they couldn't tell their parents, because we all have them. Another gush... Anna... priestess... I know her! I know her! I know her! :-D




Afterwards, Stephane set up the camera and took the photo that all the Grove have dreamt of one day existing and half the Grove wish they had been on.

The Gathering

Before I left Vegas, that's the version of the picture that Stephane chose as being the best for the website (and it's now on the October 2004 'This Month in the Grove', as requested). He was saying things about the light etc etc. But I much prefer one of the ones with him on it too. :-D Here's the FULL Gathering:

The Gathering

L-R:

Top: Luke, top of Chelle's head, Georgia, Cameron, Shonna with William, me, Bella, Anna, Jodi, Barb, Brian, Dirk and Sean

Middle: Pixie, Kass, Brad, Kat, Lauren, Kate with Elen (apologies if I have the names of Brad's sisters mixed up, if someone lets me know I'll correct this) and Corey

Bottom: Dave with Rhiannon, Kurt, Aaron, Caleb, BoJo and Frenchie




Afterwards, there was a mad scramble to get the Grove together because we had Words to say to Shonna. There was a bit of a cafuffle while we worked out which of us was to explain what was to be said. It was going to be Chelle for about half a minute there, because she'd been the co-founder of Witchgrove; it was nearly Anna, because she was Shonna's eldest friend; but all the panicked looks over not expecting it and therefore not having prepared the speech and Pixie, bless her!, said, 'Give it here!' 'It' being the HPS pendant, which had been blessed by each of us in turn over the past couple of days. Pixie and I were the only ones of the lot of us who had managed to discuss this without having to whisper for fear of Shonna overhearing, so at least we had a headstart on how it could be done; everyone else was just in total agreement but trusting to the moment for how it was going to happen.

We beseiged her and I took the baby off her while Pixie told her in no uncertain terms precisely what gift she had given us in the Grove; and also how much she kicked ass as a HPS. She then put the pendant over her head, so it dangled down. It looked perfect on her. It had always been hers, though it had needed to come via me so I could be sorted out en route. Quite a history, that pendant, but as soon as the idea was crafted between the lot of us, I think we all knew that it was with its rightful owner now. Pixie, as priestess, kicks ass too. :-D She had it so precisely right as to what needed to be said and pulled that half-impromptu, half-planned circle off brilliantly.

Shonna, of course, immediately started blarting; but we all had things to say then. One by one, we all hugged her and told her about how much we respected her as a HPS and anything else that was needful to say. Sorry to those Grove members who knew nothing of this and whose collective soul was being taken in vain by the like of myself, Chelle, Pixie, Anna, Georgia, Bella, Jodi, Kass, Corey, Brad and BoJo. However, if you disagree, you're wrong anyway. ;-) Afterwards, Shonna grabbed me and said, 'Johnny, just know that I hold you fully responsible for this.' She's wrong, it was at least Pixie, Kass and Chelle too, and only less the others because of the secrecy and garbled whispers about it beforehand. I brought the pendant and Pixie conceived of the when and how; the pendant was passed from hand to hand, hidden in bras a lot and blessed by everyone before you even saw it, Shonna fach; the rest was collective, heartfelt and above all true.

BoJo cracked me up after that. She did a fluttering fairy dance across the floor and I followed to see where it was heading. She was singing a really soft chant as well... well, you'd follow wouldn't you? She landed at the kettle! *happy dance* She got coffee! So I tried it, I flitted and fluttered right next to her, singing a coffee song too; AND IT WORKED! I'm going to bear that one in mind.

While all of this was going on, Frenchie was cooking. YAY! I got to sample the world famous crepes! All over the place, inside and out, there were folk tucking into crepes, waffles, fruit, cream... *dribble and drool* It took ages to get a crepe, because of all the waylaying conversations and the fact that I was now completely hyperactive. I think there were only about three crepes left when I finally noticed that snap was up! I dived onto one of them and had to have instruction on how to fill it for maximum tastebud sensation effect.

Crepes

And bloody gorgeous they were too!

You realize that I haven't even got to noon yet in this blog, don't you? *giggle*

To be continued...

Comments:
There's cool, cariad. I really don't want to forget anything for myself, hence the anal detail, but I'm glad you're enjoying it as well.

I wish I'd met you. Halfway across the Hoover Dam, I stepped into Arizona and thought of you.

yours
Mab
xxxxx
 
I am having *such* a wonderful time reliving this weekend through your blog. It's like watching a movie that I would call "The Grove Does Las Vegas"

LOL!
 
Me too!

I can't believe that this all happened within the past month.

yours
Mab
xxxxx
 
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