Mab of Dream

It's like thinking through sludge. Me and maths fell out years ago and to me the epitome of sheer hardwork is trying to understand my finances. Wiser people than I simultaneously pushed very hard for me to keep a track of my accounts last month, so I did and I am... I haven't existed for so long in a state of utter confusion, ping-ponging between smugness and terror (depending on what I think is happening with the sums), since the last time I attempted this.

Here's the latest that I've just spent an hour trying to puzzle over:

* I've swopped my Visa card to another one, because I couldn't afford the interest (and the new one is more ethically sound and gives money to Amnesty International; as opposed to the old one, which was dodgy as Hell <--- argument I understood when being talked into this. The first part was the argument Mum started with. I nodded in the right places and got it at the time.)

* I transferred most of the balance to the new one, but there was a period of a couple of weeks where I needed to pay things in America, which I can only do via Paypal. Paypal is linked to the old card, so I added things to it after transferring the balance. I then went onto the currency converter and worked out what the sterling was for the dollars I'd just paid, then paid that off the old Visa. Unfortunately the dollar must have crashed even further, because I'm suddenly £6.53 IN CREDIT there.

* I figured that I needed to pay for something with that to lose the in credit bit, so I paid my VERY overdue phone bill. So overdue, in fact, that I've just paid for two months in one go. It came to nearly as much as it would cost to fix my car. So I've been onto Orange to see if this can be done any cheaper, as the bills are so high because I keep 'phoning America and staying on the 'phone forever. He checked and in the past month, I've called America 11 times, each time staying on for over half an hour. He's found a plan thingie, which means it's still 15p a minute, but I get a percentage of free minutes if I buy in advance. I've just paid a tenner for £12 worth of calls to start with. I can also have these in bulks of £25 for £30 worth of calls and £50 for £60 worth of calls. I've thought on and I'm not even going near my normal monthly 'do not call America' pledge, because if someone's screaming somewhere, I'm not sitting here thinking, 'Ok, is that worth £4.50 for a half an hour cant or will Georgia get onto it?' I'm thinking, 'Ok, let's see if anything can be done.' And it saved so much time canting over the phone with Andrea when she was taking over the fund-raising. That was priceless in terms of peace of mind.

* Trouble is, I've paid that bill on my old Visa card, but the money originally allocated was in the current account list of figures and it was less. I don't want to pay it immediately, until it shows up on the old Visa bill, just to make absolutely sure I don't go in credit again. I understand enough to know that in credit on that one is bad. I now haven't a clue what column or sheet to record this on nor what to do with the original amount.

* In the meantime, Rebecca is losing oil even more quickly than usual, so I think my original plan of waiting until after the brakes are fixed on March 5th might be more stupid than my usual thinking. The squirty thing has packed up completely as well. Plus I was going to pay for that next month, but now I have the phone bill paid on Visa to pay off next month; which I think leaves more money this month, because I haven't really paid anything as it's on the Visa card. Eeeeerrrrrrkkkkkk!
*bangs head on calculator*

* On top of all of this, I can't use my on-line banking as my accounts anymore, because there's £200 in there which is destined elsewhere. I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to treat that as invisible, not really there money, or include it somewhere.

Now, if I was doing this the old way, I'd have just paid off everything that needed paying off, and assumed that the rest would just fall into place. Every 3 months or so, I would have a panic attack, because I couldn't see what was happening or where it was all going, and someone would take it all off me, do some sums and just tell me pay that, leave that, job's a good 'un. This way, I know precisely what's where; but I have a car dripping oil with a filthy windowscreen and a 'phone bill where I get hit for two months worth in one go.

I'm not showing Mum my accounts ever again, because she just goes through saying, 'Well why have you paid that? How come you're this much in debt there? Why did you use that, when you could have used this?' And other such helpful stuff, which leaves me completely depressed and assuming that I'm nearly bankrupt. Aud's up to her neck in exams. Time to see how busy Ian or Seren are.

yours
Mab
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