Mab of Dream

For some strange reason my last blog was there three times! LOL But it's only there once now.

I seem to be leading a very full life again right now, but mainly in a way which doesn't seem very productive, but is tying up a lot of loose ends. The biggest of these came when I had Tuesday off work to finish my dissertation. That involved sitting there with three different annotated versions of my dissertation and trying to integrate all of the comments made. Some of these were fair enough - despite me and Pixie both having copy-read it half a dozen times each, Caroline still managed to find some typos! Mainly these were when words had been missed out or duplicated though. Viv had raised some brilliant points, but incorporating those meant that I was forever in danger of going well over my word-count. In truth, there was scope for a whole new chapter in the dissertation just to discuss those, if not a whole new dissertation. By far the most infuriating though were Mike's comments. Sometimes because I felt I was idiot-proofing it way too much, eg writing 'as will be discussed below' all over the place; but also because most of his comments involved the structure of it.

All told it took me 12 hours on Saturday; 4 hours on Sunday; then about 8 hours on Tuesday to rewrite, restructure or generally tat with this dissertation. I started off excited about it again, proving that the break had done me the power of good; but by Tuesday, I was having bad thoughts again - anything do just stop me having to do anything else with this. I didn't care if it ended, I gave up on the MA, I ended or the world ended. It was pure, unadulterated torture.

I was more sensible this time though. Instead of pushing myself to break on through when I was close to tears with it on Tuesday, I walked away and watched 'Men in Black II'. By the time I came back to it, it was still frustrating, but I wasn't taking it all in as a personal attack.

That's the trouble with something like this. You tear apart your own religion, kick it around and batter it to death; then, if your research is similarly attacked, it doesn't feel like it was worth it. You neither have religion or intellect left then, so what's to rely on? I can see now why I really lost the plot in November and again in January. This was only the briefest return, but those were prolonged.

I'm so glad that it's over now. I'm half suspecting that it's no longer coherent and that the original dissertation was much better in terms of structure, but I've promised myself that I will never have to go through that again. I'd rather walk away from the MA than have to rewrite another word.

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In the other news, I had a wonderful night last night. Aud, Bex and I met up and went for our tea in Sylvari's, in King Street, Wolverhampton. It was beautiful. To be honest, I was so hungry by then that I could have eaten a scabby 'oss sandwiched between two mouldy mattresses, but it was great food anyway. I don't tend to eat out very often, so this was doubly a treat.

After that, we drove up to Ruiton to the Old Mill. My gt-gt-gt-grandad, John Hyde, built the pub and this was the main reason that I suggested it. We sat in there for ages, canting, catching up, putting the world to rights. The one time I actually wanted to see a ghost (on the basis that I could be related to it) there was nothing to be seen. The cider was gorgeous though and we found the perfect little alcove to all sit in, so I can see us going there again.

The best thing is that we could do it again next week, as we're going to see 'MacBeth' at the Newhampton. So meeting up at the same time and place and probably eating at the same place! *happy dance*

I'm also meeting Kate Morgan in town later on today (I haven't seen her in a year!). I've just come off the 'phone with her. We're meeting in the same place and I suggested we go to Sylvari's, then onto an Irish pub, seeing as it's St Patrick's Day. I don't think I've ever been out so much in my life AND in pubs too. I normally avoid them because I can't hear and I'm driving so I can't drink, but the Old Mill was quiet last night. I can't see the Irish pubs being quiet tonight though! LOL

yours
Mab
xxxxx